A rivalry with a door-to-door salesperson ends in an embarrassing fashion.
Art by Pete Whitehead
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Story performed by: Aaron Calafato
Audio Production: Ken Wendt
Original Art: Pete Whitehead
Music Contributor: thomas j. duke
Podcast Coordinator: Cori Birce
Creative Consultant: Anthony Vorndran
Transcript
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Today's episode of 7 Minute Stories is made possible by Fishbowl. Now, I started using Fishbowl because I asked myself this question. Is there an app for professionals that doesn't feel gross, that doesn't feel like Facebook or LinkedIn? Is there something that provides a safe space where you can get the inside scoop on companies you actually want to work for, where you have the ability to post anonymously, where you can get referrals and where you can just authentically network with other professionals? Is that too much to ask?
Well, it's not because as I found out, that's exactly what Fishbowl provides. They also have free live audio talks and Q&As with industry experts. I know this because I do live talks about storytelling and podcasting on the app. And if you're interested in hearing those, Cori and I will be announcing my upcoming dates on this podcast in the future. Fishbowl is available for both iPhone and Android, so search your app store and download the free app today.
You're listening to 7 Minute Stories with Aaron Calafato. Visit our website, 7minutestories.com. That's the number, 7minutestories.com, to see the awesome new merch available this season. Choose from stickers, koozies, T-shirts, tote bags, and more. I have to say, the tote bag is my favorite. This episode, Door to Door Salesmen.
So this is more of a confessional, and actually, a call for forgiveness. But I got to give you some context here. It all comes from the place of me really having clear boundaries. And I think that's a good thing. In most cases, it's a good thing. Some people have lax boundaries about certain things in their lives, the way they're treated, their art, their personhood, their homes.
I have very clear boundaries when it comes to my family and my art, but particularly my house, my home, my sanctuary. I don't just let anybody come in and out. The people who are in my circle, who I love, you're in. But if you're not, it doesn't mean that you can't get in. But you got to go through sort of like a vetting process. You got to go through a process to get into the sanctuary. You know what I'm saying?
So what this has done inadvertently, though, is put me at a really intense collision course with door to door salespeople. Now, door to door salesmanship, I thought it was dormant, to be honest with you. In this day and age, I didn't realize it was so prevalent.
I'm here to tell you, at least in this suburb, it's a hotbed. It's very prevalent, stronger than ever. I know this now because I've been working from home for a long time now, and I've been working remotely, which is fantastic. But now what I'm subject to, is from nine to five, I'm getting knocks on the door all day. I got people coming to the door, interrupting my work, trying to sell me Encyclopedia Britannicas. I got people come in there, trying to sell me language books. The list goes on.
It's absolutely insane.
I knew it was alive and well back in the day. I remember when I was four years old, and I was going to pre-school, but I was home most of the day with my mom. And I remember back then, I'm sitting in the house, eating a grilled cheese and tater tots, and there's a guy that came to the door every single day for seven days. I didn't know what they were talking about, but my mom kept saying no, and the guy would come back with a new story. And I'd look out the window and see him go back to his car, and he seemed kind of frustrated.
And he would come back and come back and come back.
Next thing you know, somehow he persuades his way to come into the house. My mom's sitting with the guy having coffee, right? He's in my house. He's got a bag of dirt that he throws on the ground and then starts demonstrating the power of the vacuum cleaner that he's trying to sell. It was a Kirby vacuum cleaner.
And by the way, my parents bought it. They must have to take a second mortgage on the house. It's unbelievable. It's a great example to show you the power of salesmanship. At the same time, it's a great example to show you how people can bend and shape boundaries. My mom eventually just let the guy in, or at least, she felt like he made a great case.
For me, look, when I say no, that means no. And the problem is, with most folks who are doing door to door sales, they got to get the sale, and they got to go through four to five to six different iterations. They're trained this way. They have scripts. It's all in these books that they teach about an old-school style of selling, right? Where it's yes, but, and don't take no for an answer and try to start the conversation and just get into the house and go for the most vulnerable person.
I mean, it's a very predatory, tactical experience.
But me, I see all the way through this. You can't hustle a hustler. So I usually am nice to people who come to the door. And when they say, "I'm going to sell you this thing," I say, "No, thank you. I appreciate it." Where I have issues is where people don't take no for an answer, now I'm pissed. Now, I go from zero to 10, and I start getting angry because you're not respecting the sanctuary. You're not respecting the boundary. I know you have an interest, but here's my interest.
Get off my lawn. You see what I'm saying? I turned into that guy.
In particular, as I've been working at home, I've had some issues with a particular company. I think it's a gas company. But they keep sending these folks to my front door, and they're coming in with this pitch of, "Hey, I hear that your gas isn't working. My gas is fine. Don't worry about my gas. How's your gas? My gas is good."
And I know what they're doing, I can see right through it. But they don't take no for an answer. And I've had a couple of times where they made comments, kind of got aggressive. One guy put his hand on the doorknob. And listen, as soon as you do that, buddy, I'm going to level you out. And I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to have to get physical, but you're pushing me to that threshold with your actions.
So to prevent anything from happening, I called the company and said, "Listen, you can't send another salesperson to my door or we're going to have problems." And luckily, next few days go by, and it's quiet. But there's other things in the house that emerge in life, right? That you have to take care of.
One thing that I'm a little embarrassed to admit, and to talk about, is that I've been looking for monthly cleaning service for the house. Now, look, it's because I'm so busy and Cori's so busy, we got the three kids. Nothing bourgeois or super expensive, just something for someone to come in and help straighten the house, okay? I'm just telling you.
But it was just another thing to add to my plate. So I was like, "Cori, do you think you could handle this? Just set it up through my calendar, use my email, and have someone come out to give us an estimate." And she was great. She took that off my plate.
But as soon as she took that off my plate, now I'm fighting on the phone with PayPal, who has arbitrarily taken some of my money and held it hostage for some reason. So I'm on the phone with them. I'm like a lawyer talking with them, two to three hours a day, trying to figure out what's going on there. And then I'm fighting with insurance companies because I'm switching insurance, and that's become a full-time job that I never wanted.
So a lot of stress in these last few months. And just the other day, I'm having one of those days where you're just underwater and you're drowning. And I'm on the phone with the insurance company. And all of a sudden, I hear a knock at the door, and I'm thinking to myself as I'm stomping up the stairs, "This better not be another door to door salesperson, or I'm going to lose it." And I get to the door, and look who we have here, a guy standing with a clipboard in his hand.
That's it. I'm done. No more Mr. Nice Guy. I got the phone to my ear. I rip open the door, I got my finger pointed, and I say, "I'm in the middle of a meeting, and I don't have time for this shit." And I slammed the door in his face, and I look out the window, and he looks like he got hit with a ton of bricks. And I go downstairs to my work, I'm feeling victorious, like I just gave him a taste of his own medicine. And I thought, "And you better not come back or else."
And I felt good for about five seconds, until I looked at my calendar for the first time that day, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. This wasn't a door to door salesperson. This time, it was the guy from the cleaning service that Cori set up to come to the house to give me an estimate. Oh, God. Can you imagine what he was feeling on his end, what he went through? And I felt worse.
I called the company. I finally get a hold of him. I'm on the phone with him. I find out it's the owner of the company. So now, I'm apologizing. I tell him the story I told you. He was so forgiving and generous. He goes, "Hey, look, it happens." I said, "It doesn't really happen." He goes, "Yeah, that was a first." And I said, "Now that we made up, maybe you can come back to the house and we can work out an arrangement?"
And he did. He came back, and I led him into the sanctuary because he earned it, with his graciousness. And there's one last thing I have to earn from him. And I know you're listening, buddy. I didn't mention your company or your name, but I do have to ask you something publicly. Do you forgive me?
7 Minute Stories is created and performed by Aaron Calafato. Audio Production by Ken Wendt. You can connect with Ken or inquire about his audio production services at media216.com. Original artwork by Pete Whitehead. Find out more about Pete's work at petewhitehead.com.
Our Creative Consultant is Anthony Vorndran, and Lennon Janovyak is our Production Assistant. Special thanks to our partners at Evergreen Podcasts. And lastly, I'm Cori Birce. Make sure and tune in next week for another story.
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