At just five years old, Aaron Calafato learned an unforgettable lesson about life from a spider, his mom, and the story of Charlotte’s Web. In this episode, he shares how that moment shaped his philosophy on kindness and the legacy he’s trying to pass on to his kids.
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Story created & performed by: Aaron Calafato
Senior Audio Engineer: Ken Wendt
Additional vocals: Cori Birce
Art: Pete Whitehead
Original Music: thomas j. duke
Transcript
Aaron Calafato:
I was about to smash this spider into oblivion. My boot was up. I was about to come down like a stone-cold stunner on this spider. I had to protect my house. But then my mom runs out and goes, “No, no, no, wait, wait, don’t kill it! Don’t kill it!”
And what she said next would not only change my philosophy about insects but really about life itself.
[Music plays]
Flash forward to just a few weeks ago: I’m ushering a harmless cellar spider out of our house. I’m carefully trying to get it onto a napkin because they’re so delicate. I’ve developed a habit of letting insects out the back door instead of killing them. Sometimes, my family rolls their eyes.
My wife, Cori, recently said, “There he is—the Saint of Insects.” She’s a loving person, but I think I do take it to the extreme. There’s a reason for that, though, and it goes back to the story I started this episode with.
I was five years old and about to kill a spider in my driveway, right outside the house. I was scared shitless of spiders. They’re terrifying—hairy legs, visible fangs, and they bite, right? But just as I was about to smash it, my mom runs out and says:
“Don’t kill that spider. First, it’s outside—you have nothing to worry about. Second, think about what it’s like to be a spider. Did you ask to be a human being?”
I said, “No.”
She continued, “Exactly. You didn’t negotiate what you wanted to be in this life. You just came to be. You’re in this body as a human being, dealing with the circumstances of your life. Now, imagine you’re a spider. You didn’t ask to look like that or have those attributes. That’s just what you are. You’re walking around, living your spider life, and out of nowhere, this giant force from the cosmos comes down and smashes your existence—just because they’re afraid of you. Consider that.”
She finished with this: “If you’re in danger, defend yourself. If an animal attacks you, defend yourself. But if an insect isn’t harming you, do everything you can to create peace. Otherwise, you’re destroying life for no reason.”
That moment changed me. I felt terrible for all the insects I’d killed before she caught me. It made me realize I had the potential for cruelty without even thinking about it. These creatures—no matter how small—are alive.
I came back inside with my mom, and she could see how much her words affected me. Then she said, “There’s no better story to explain this than Charlotte’s Web.”
“Charlotte’s Web, Mom? Seriously?”
But she was right. It’s the story of Wilbur, a pig saved from slaughter by a kind spider named Charlotte. Charlotte weaves words into her web to make Wilbur look special and ultimately saves his life. In the end, though, Charlotte dies after ensuring her legacy through her baby spiders. It’s a story about friendship, sacrifice, and the circle of life.
If my mom’s philosophy didn’t change me, Charlotte’s Web sealed the deal. From that point on, I sought forgiveness and redemption through action. I’ve passed this perspective on to my kids, too.
When my daughter was little, she screamed one day after finding a stink bug in her toy basket. “Kill it!” she cried.
I asked her, “What if you were a stink bug? You’re stuck in this house, and you don’t even know it’s a house. You’re just trying to live your life. Now you, my daughter, have the power. What do you choose?”
She hesitated but said, “Let him live.” Not only that, she added, “He can live in the house with us forever.”
She named him Boris.
To this day, every house we’ve lived in seems to have a stink bug appear each season. And every time, my daughter and I smile and wonder if it’s Boris—or one of his descendants—paying us a visit.
