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This week we’re featuring a 7MS Cinema Episode! After years of chasing a dream in New York, Aaron looks back on the unlikely connections and formative moments that shaped his journey—including a family tie to a professional character actor many of you have seen in films over the last few decades. But when a chance reminder from Henry Winkler jogs a long-buried memory, he realizes there's something important he’s been putting off for too long.
Featuring Sound Design & Audio Engineering by Isaac Gehring
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Story created & performed by: Aaron Calafato
Senior Audio Engineer: Ken Wendt
Additional vocals: Cori Calafato
Art: Pete Whitehead
Original Theme Music: thomas j. duke
TRANSCRIPT
Aaron Calafato:
Of all the things in the world, seeing the iconic actor Henry Winkler reminded me of something very important that I need to do. More on that after the music.
You're listening to 7 Minute Stories with Aaron Calafato. This is Season 4.
I was in college when I decided: I’m going to New York. I’m going to be an actor.
That was my Midwest dream—the stereotypical, I’m going to go out there and make it. I didn’t really know if anyone in my family was in the business, so I was completely naïve about how the whole thing worked, whether in New York, L.A., or Chicago.
I just knew I wanted to do something. Little did I know it would turn into this storytelling thing I’m doing now. But that was where I started.
I remember calling around, asking my family: Do we know anybody in the industry?
And my uncle told me, You know, we have a third cousin—stage and screen. He’s been in dozens and dozens of films and on stage. His name’s Joe Grafasi. Remember Cousin Joe?
Cousin Joe? Joe.
There are a lot of Joes and Nancys in Italian American families, so names get mixed up. But I did vaguely remember him. Every year, my family and extended relatives would get together in Buffalo for a reunion. I went to those gatherings for five to seven years as a kid, so I had some memory of him.
That made my next step easier. The introduction or phone call wouldn’t be too crazy or awkward.
So I called him.
And in Italian America, it doesn’t matter if you’re a third, fourth, or fifth cousin—you’re family. So, Cousin Joe, I told him about the reunions, and we reconnected.
I explained my plans—I was a senior in college, about to move to New York. But first, I asked if he would be part of a panel discussion for the university’s film organization.
And he said yes.
So we met in person. We established a relationship. It was a great experience.
Then I told him, I’m coming to New York.
And he said, When you do, reach out.
So I did.
One of the first things he told me was that he was playing the legendary New York Yankee, Yogi Berra, in the ESPN miniseries The Bronx Is Burning.
You think Jesus would hit, you know, for like an average?
Jesus?
Yeah.
A thousand.
That good, huh?
Definitely.
I was blown away.
And then he put me in touch with someone in casting, and that led to my first acting gig.
Three days on set. Day player, stand-in, background actor.
But it was incredible.
I got paid. I was in New York for just a couple of weeks, and suddenly, I was on a movie set.
All because of him.
From there, I kept calling him, asking for advice. Where should I study? What studios should I audition for? What movies should I be watching? What plays should I be seeing?
And he answered every time—giving me book recommendations, suggesting places to go. He even invited me to some of the plays he was in.
What an experience.
Before I tell you who I met through him, let’s take a look at his résumé.
Pull up IMDb.
Joe Grafasi.
This guy.
He’s in The Deer Hunter—he plays the band leader in a major scene with Robert De Niro and Meryl Streep.
Christopher Walken.
He’s in a movie with James Caan.
Unbelievable.
He was in Splash with Tom Hanks.
He was in Moonstruck with Cher.
He played Johnny Depp’s uncle (or cousin) in Benny & Joon.
He was in Presumed Innocent with Harrison Ford.
He was in Natural Born Killers with Woody Harrelson.
He was in Batman Forever with Val Kilmer.
It’s crazy.
At the time, I didn’t fully appreciate what a big deal this was—not just the association, but his own career. His ability to carve out a life in an industry so competitive.
And then, when he was acting on stage, he would invite me to the show. I got to meet the cast afterward, sometimes even hang out and have a drink with them.
Through him, I met the late, great Brian Dennehy.
I met Kelsey Grammer.
I met David Strathairn.
And here’s the thing that’s hard to talk about.
While all of this was happening—at 40 years old, looking back, I see what an unbelievable opportunity it was.
I felt it back then in my mid-to-late 20s, but I didn’t fully appreciate it. Because my mind was somewhere else.
I was thinking: How do I work? How do I make it? How do I get cast in a play with these guys?
I remember calling Joe up, voicing my frustrations. I’m not working enough. Do you think you can help me get more plays?
Cringe.
Asking a working actor—who was already helping me—for more favors.
And he said something I’ll never forget:
Anybody can get a gig, a role, an audition. I’m trying to show you how to have a career for 40 years.
I got what he was saying then.
But I really get it now.
The importance of craft.
The importance of surrounding yourself with an artistic community.
The importance of listening, observing, and understanding why we do this.
The why of theater and performance.
The reverence for it.
I get it now. And that foundation he helped build in New York has informed so much of my success today.
But eventually, I left New York.
Crushing student debt.
Getting married back in Ohio.
I told Joe I’d continue my career, but I was angling more toward storytelling.
We kept in touch for a while—emails, occasional check-ins.
Then life happened.
Too much time passed.
You know that feeling—where you haven’t talked to someone in so long, you don’t even know where to start?
That’s what happened between me and Joe.
And I kept putting off reaching out.
Then, Henry Winkler showed up on my social media feed.
His face reminded me of a memory I’d nearly forgotten.
Years ago, after returning from New York, my mom handed me some old family reunion DVDs.
I watched them.
I saw myself in 1994.
I saw my dad.
And then—Henry Winkler.
Why was Henry Winkler at my family reunion?
I squinted at the screen.
And then I saw it.
He was arm-in-arm with my cousin Joe Grafasi.
It’s because of Joe.
And a lot of what I’m doing now is because of him.
I need to email him.
Joe, if you’re listening—thank you.
And I’ll talk to you soon.
